Sheffield Tramlines: Ed Balls to camping!!!

Sheffield Tramlines: Ed Balls to camping!!!

At least once every summer, I will voluntarily forgo basic amenities and any form of comfort and pay upwards of £200 to live in a manner that quite accurately recreates the squalor and inhumanity currently imposed on millions of men, women and children in the atrocious Syrian refugee camps; something akin to a 21^st century Down and out in Paris and London.

Not this weekend, no, this weekend we spent a festival in the heart of a South-Yorkshire metropolis, where our accommodation was erected Two Hundred and Thirteen years prior to our arrival, where a shower is reality and not just a distant memory.

Tramlines, now in its fifth-year of existence is spread across a post-industrial municipality, which, even after suffering the hate-filled Thatcherite purge of Northern England, in no-way resembles the violent, dystopian vision laid-out in a Kubrick masterpiece and birthed into reality by a Neo-Liberal monster.

The line-up, not as ‘star-studded’ as previous efforts, is more a shop-window for potential rather than noticing a family air-loom pilfered in a traumatising home-invasion being evaluated on The Antiques Roadshow; and thank Jesús Navas is sans Craig David.

Admittedly, from what my memory will allow me to recall, we didn’t actually get to see all that much music – our time was mainly spent concentrating on drinking - and drinking at prices so reasonable, that if offered the same beverages for an equal amount at Glastonbury, you would naturally assume they had been poisoned by an individual who would be later hunted down, wrapped in plastic and brought to justice by the fictional serial-killer Dexter.   

The First act we caught a glimpse of was that of Bolton-on-Dearne troupe The Sherlocks - young enough to make me jealous of youth and good enough to one-day be a household name or at least a regular name muttered amongst the musically-discerning – their influences are apparent for all to hear, a pinch Monkeys (the Arctic type) and tablespoon of your uncle’s Courteener(s) – which judging from the atmosphere in, The Hop, should be in no-circumstance be viewed as a disparaging critique.

Over on the main stage and after the most mouth-shatteringly-fantastic pulled-pork sandwich from Red’s True Barbeque:

Fenech Soler or whatever their preposterous name is, don’t deserve the column inches – they manage to combine two facets that I despise ferociously and equally, namely cheesy-euro-pop-dance and pseudo-impassioned-that-gimp-from-The Frey-style-vocals. During their ‘performance’ a drunken memory of meeting them while waiting for the cash machine outside 53 Degrees in Preston about three-years ago came flooding back, as did they memory of them handing us some badges - had we of heard them at that time and realised the musical crimes they are capable of, I would have been inclined to refuse the badges and invoked the spirit of Malcolm Tucker http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al7XJxlDoyQ (This section has been heavily edited)

Quite frankly, Lianne La Havas didn’t have much to live-up-to after the previous shower of shite – her lovelorn ditties are poignant and beautifully crafted – her smoky soulful voice would have even the most devoted Millwall ‘fan’ feeling something other than anger. Ultimately though, she is no headliner, her music is perfect for a sunny afternoon sat drinking but what you really want in a main-stage headliner is someone more visceral or who can at-least provide a cathartic mass sing-along.  

Later and what I mean by that is, after a lot of whiskey, we find ourselves at the Leadmill, there we find Feral Blood as-well-as Charlie and the Voyeurs, both of which I believe were somewhere between okay and fairly good, I believe; by that point I was in a state of intoxication that anyone playing actual instruments would have come across as palatable.

The next morning after the haze had dispersed and food had been consumed, we sat in the Peace Gardens – which treated us to a group whose vocal abilities were fairly reminiscent of my own.   

Finally it was time to see the band I was here for, fellow misanthropes Veronica Falls, whose brand of dreary/dreamy noir-guitar-pop strikes a chord – I would find it intrinsically hard to dismiss any band who not only name a song Beachyhead but film a video at Karl Marx’s grave.

Perfectly-pale and austerely-dressed, they jangle through a (what appeared to be forced) shortened gem of a set - stopping to dedicate Misery to a girl wearing a Smiths T-Shirt – I was overtly-impressed with every hypnotic song from Found Love in a Graveyard to Teenage (The video for which is viewable at the top), so-much-so that I will endeavour to go and see them at a club venue, next time they are in the vicinity.

Constrained by hangovers, impending work commitments, and restrictive public-transport it was time to bid Tramlines and Sheffield, adieu.

Closing thoughts…

Festivals in cities are the future; they combine comfort with the kind of atmosphere usually reserved for European holidays, which makes for a great weekend. Also, and this is where Ed Balls should be taking notes, city-festivals should be encouraged just for the economic benefits alone, after-all, it is a scientific fact that drunks spend more money.  

All-Hail contemporary music’s poet laureate: A short review of The Arctic Monkeys single - Do I Wanna know?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOSxM0rNPM

All-Hail contemporary music’s poet laureate

A short review of The Arctic Monkeys single - Do I Wanna know?

I like to think that even when my favourite artists drop a clanger, I am capable of the critical-thought required to acknowledge that fact and lambast where appropriate, not just try and pass it off as a harmless-misdemeanour; Cardinal Keith ‘wandering-hands’ O’Brien it, if you will.…I like to think.

Especially when even the most ardent devil’s advocate, would find it hard-work arguing that - Do I Wanna know? - hasn’t got an almost impossible act to follow in the shape of the, Ian Brady insanely good R U Mine.

Well, thankfully, there is no need in the world to deploy Vatican style Jedi mind-tricks today.

As always, Alex Turner’s lyrical prowess is evident for all to behold. While I’m sure the tried and tested topic of craving the renewed attentions of an ex after one or twelve many Jameson and not-much-coke, has been covered sufficiently before; I would hazard a guess that it’s rarely been done with such lyrical panache.

For example, the turn of phrase:

“Have you no idea that you're in deep?

I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week

How many secrets can you keep?”

Is romantic yet slightly (fairly) sinister.

At no-point do the lyrics stray into the territory of sounding awkward or forced, a place where many of his contemporaries i.e. Liam Fray and Miles Kane have amassed a great deal of frequent –flyer miles.  

As with previous efforts the rhythm resembles a John Cooper-Clarke freestyle, even if the pace of the song itself is slow-burning and hypnotic; which coupled with a chorus big enough to crush Syrian-‘rebels’ makes for a musical-package of Michelin star quality (President Assad’s regime should be taking notes).

In my opinion, Do I wanna know? Is the outstanding single of the year thus far, so good in fact, that it is only likely to be matched or surpassed by another effort from High Greens favourite Monkeys; consequently, if this track is a true indication of what to expect from their forthcoming Long-Play; then, just as was the case in years of our Lord 2006, 2007, 2009 and 2011 the album of the year will go to….   

In my opinion that is.

A ‘Pizzaview’ with Jason Williams of Your New Antique

 

A ‘Pizzaview’ with Jason Williams of Your New Antique

Hard-working and talented West Yorkshire four-piece Your New Antique have been doing the local rounds since 2007, but after a couple of line-up changes and two years of relative stability things are finally starting to take-off, their new single Chemistry was played on the Tom Robinson show and they were recently the subject of a sizable and complimentary article on the Guardian website.

I contacted the bands baritone voiced singer, Jason Williams, about the prospect of a quick chat, he was more than happy to oblige and invited me for home-made pizza, although, I must be honest and say I was a little wary that he may have misconstrued my interest in an interview as a sexual proposition; I took that chance, and this is what transpired:

When/why did you first notice music? And is there a particular song or artist that caught you attention.

I remember wanting to be a ‘pop star’ when I was 6 and listened to Michael Jackson a lot! I started really listening when the whole Brit Pop scene started; ‘Definitely Maybe’ by Oasis was probably the album that initially got my attention.

 At what age did you start learning to play and how long have you been playing in bands?

I started playing guitar when I was 12 (my Dad got his old guitar out the loft and got it restored), but only started getting half decent when I was 15, learning a lot of songs by Radiohead on the way. I started playing in a band when I was 17 and still living in Wakefield. We jammed a lot but only had one gig playing covers! I then went to live in Huddersfield to go to Uni which is where I met Rob and started Your New Antique.

You were recently played on the Tom Robinson show and had an article published about you in the Guardian, how does this sort of recognition make you feel? And does it motivate you to achieve greater national recognition?

It’s great, we particularly love 6music so we were buzzing when we were played on there. It gives you a lot of encouragement knowing other people like what you’re doing. We ultimately would love to be able to make a living doing this so we’re as motivated as ever.

 When and where are you next playing?

We’re working on new material at the moment so the next gig will be the end of March to coincide with our single and E.P. release. The venue will be ‘The Parish’ in Huddersfield (we’ll be confirming the date shortly). We’re doing a press of 100 limited addition CD’s with the singles we’ve recently released plus a bonus track, it’ll be on sale at the gig.

 Do you feel the band is progressing musically? And is there any particular direction or style of music you would like to have a dabble in?

Yeah I think we’re progressing. If you listen to the music we wrote when we first started out and compared it with our new material I think you’d notice a difference.  I believe our songs are more structured and melodic now (not to mention better!). As for our direction, we’re all into different styles of music and we love how Radiohead changed their style but kept their sound, it’s something that interests us going forward.

 If you got the opportunity to collaborate with any living artist, who would that be? And why?

Thom Yorke, because I love pretty much everything he’s done and his voice is at the other end of the vocal spectrum to mine!

 Morale Dilemma: A Simon Cowell type figure appears before you with a proposition, he offers you fame and fortune beyond your wildest dreams, promises that you will become biggest selling artist of all time and that everyone will think you are even better than the Beatles. However, the music you will produce will be on an artistic and musical par with the likes of One Direction and Dappy; would you accept the offer? (be honest).

Get f**ked, how can I take you seriously when you say people will think I’m better than The Beatles, yet my music will have all the artistic merit of a dog turd? The Beatles were the greatest band to have ever existed!

Finally, if Earth was dying, and you were tasked with setting up a human colony on another planet, what five people would you take and why?

If we’re talking artistic merit, and not all people I want to breed with personally, then I’d say:

 Bob Dylan – I bet he could tell me stories all day and I’d never once get bored.

Bjork – To sing to me while I’m trying to sleep, she’s got an amazing voice.

Brian from ‘Spaced’ – He’s a great artist who doesn’t always need a paint brush to do his work.

Frankie Boyle – He’d constantly remind me how shit it is only having 6 people on the planet, but he’d make me laugh while doing it.

Karen O – She’s cool, sounds great and looks like she knows how to party. (A way of saying she’s hot, without angering his fiancé I believe)

Your New Antique’s single chemistry is now available on itunes, or by clicking this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2Xx2g9ZR6Q and ripping it off Youtube; your call.